THIS ARTICLE... just hit me so hard, cuz she put into words what I go through on a daily basis perfectly…our symptoms manifest a little differently, but she captured the essence of anxiety extremely well
I’ve quoted a few snippets here, but read the whole thing if you want to understand my struggle.
“I’m terrified of talking on the phone and starting conversations with strangers. I’m even scared of texting certain friends and coming on too strong, of graduating from a concerned friend to an annoying nuisance. So I delete messages. I wait too long to answer back. I don’t let on that I care. But I care more than anyone realizes. I care so much it hurts.”
“…they don’t realize I have anxiety, because I’m not shaking at the table and hyperventilating into a paper bag. My meltdowns happen before I see them. The night before, on my drive there, in the car — I’m freaking out the entire time. Imagining all of the things that could go wrong. Picturing how embarrassed I’ll be.
But when I’m finally in public, I internalize everything. I try to minimize my physical symptoms to avoid drawing attention to myself — but just because I calmed my shaking doesn’t mean I’ve calmed my mind.”
Also… not totally unrelated (If you know the show, you’ll get it) — I think Alice on “The Magicians” is my spirit animal…. and, like, wow, we could pass for sisters….a little eerie actually.