Oh, The Mouth On Her!


So, after my post on my effective methods of sustainable anal sex, I’ve been getting inquiries as to when I would do a similar piece about oral sex. So… here it goes.

I came to a realization about oral sex, I guess about a year ago… 3 words I thought I’d never say…









I reeeeeeeally do. If you were to travel back in time and tell a younger me, how much I would love sucking dick when I hit my early 20’s, I’d have bet you a million dollars you’d be wrong. And…you’d have won a million dollars… that I don’t have.

It wasn’t something I fell in love with right away. I was kinda horrified by it at first, but after my first blowjob I found that I didn’t hate it. I didn’t LOVE it, but it was actually kinda pleasant having a dick in my mouth. Of course I didn’t taste any cum the first time either, cuz he moved on to anal before climax. I hated the taste of even flavored condoms, so we didn’t use them for oral, which clearly in retrospect was not the brightest choice. But later my BF at the time and I both did the somewhat responsible thing and got tested, and remained monogamous. It was then that I decided to chance it, cuz I was curious. So the first time I let him cum in my mouth I was incredibly surprised. It was warm, creamy, salty, and not unpleasant at first. I was very curious as to why so many had voiced displeasure with the taste. And then I swallowed it, and that bitter bleach aftertaste hit my tastebuds. Yechh!! I finally got what the complaining was all about. Dude, nothing washes that taste out of your mouth, NOTHING. Although Whiskey does help… leading to an eventual Jameson aperitif routine for me. And it doesn’t matter if you spit it out either, eventually a little of it will hit that sensitive area, and BLAM!!! Bitter almonds and bleach! ICK!

Sooo, why even bother? Because, for me, the cum is not the payoff. I have accepted that the aftertaste is akin to the gasoline-like kick from a shot of tequila – you accept it as the price you pay for the high that you get from it. And even though I rather enjoy the initial pleasant taste of jizz, that is not why I love sucking dick —  I love how a cock feels in my mouth. I love how it feels in my hands. When I wrap my lips around my current BF’s cock, my senses are heightened. I love the mild salty taste of the skin, it’s much like a soft firm salty pretzel you get at a Dodgers game or a movie… I love to lick the head, and rub the head across my lips. I love to tickle the shaft with my tongue as he slides slowly in and out of me. And I take great pride that I have trained my gag reflex so that I can take my man down to the hilt. I wrap my hands around the back of his thighs and let him face fuck me. He also likes it when I stroke my own cock while I’m sucking his. And I’m starting to like it too. I’m always sure to make eye contact as much as possible. I want him to know that being down there turns me on to an even greater degree than the sensation he’s receiving. I almost always let him finish in my mouth, or on my face because it really turns him on to do that. And because this is not the endgame for me. I know if I let him use my mouth and cum on my face, or tits, he’ll be a gentleman, and follow through on a second orgasm. That’s right, I give my man oral, and let him debase me like a porn slut, so he’ll last longer the 2nd timewhen he fucks me. And the longer he fucks me the better the chance I have for multiple orgasms. I play the long game.

But not everyone has the skills they need to be an oral goddess right out of the gate. And if you’re anything like me, then you love the feeling of having both a dick in your mouth and your love hole at the same time. So once again… we are gonna need some toys. (Or another man, or t-girl, or sissy when the opportunity [and your lover] permits. [Please, honey??? I know you read this page. I been a good gurl.]) 

dongThe learning curve here is much easier to handle compared to my treatise on anal. Cuz a really good dong that doesn’t taste horrid, and some good dick sucking porn are really all you need here. I have an 18″ Doc Johnson “Crystal Jellies” pink double dong. I initially bought it so that I could practice my techniques, but now I love to coat it with honey, or agave, or strawberry jam, or whipped cream, and make oral love to it while being fucked. It’s a messy pain in the ass, as you have to keep dipping it a bowl of whatever you use to mask the rubbery taste, cuz you will drool, and you will suck whatever is on it completely off in just a few seconds. And more often than not you drip some of it on the sheets. I’ve tried moving the bowl around to different places… it’s still a mess, and I have to wash the sheets afterward. Small price to pay I suppose :)

I don’t use the toy all the time. But very often, I’m in the mood to be double plugged. And with my trusty sidekick, if I close my eyes and use my imagination I can get there in my mind. (Mostly I imagine that loverboy’s sci-fi addled brain has caused him to attempt to build a cold fusion reactor out of a combination of spare parts from the microwave and washing machine he failed to fix and his old, cast-off PC’s. BUT rather than create cold fusion, what his patchwork contraption actually does is create clones. Sooooo, sometimes I’m blowing his clone while he fucks me. And sometimes, it’s my clone fucking my mouth whilst my lover plows my back 40. Yes, we’ve covered this… I’m pretty fucked up.)

So, get yourself a double dong, pull up your favorite oral scene on your computer, and… monkey see, monkey do. The taste is awful at first but like everything else, you get used to it. It’s also good to have a night or two where your lover gives you feedback on just what really feels good to him, as some things look good in movies, but guys don’t really like the way they feel. And every guy is different, so try different things that you’ve learned and ask for feedback. And then give him what he wants.

As for deep throating. This will take some time. The gag reflex exists for a reason, so bypassing it is not a natural thing. Other than extending your neck, the one trick that a porn star friend of mine once told me is to breath in deeply, almost like a you’re yawning, cuz it opens your throat. And then keep sort of breathing in as you attempt to slide the cock deeper.  Also, you’ll just have to feel it out, as the first few times you try it, the cock will hit the back of your throat and get stuck. I can’t really explain how, but just adjusting the way you approach the back of your throat will eventually bend it and allow it to travel down. You’ll probably gag the first few dozen times, but eventually you’ll feel it, and you’ll surprise yourself how deep you can get these things. BUT you can’t breathe with a dong all the way down your throat, so be safe, take it easy at first, and don’t put yourself, or allow anyone else to put you in a position where you can’t yank it out. Be safe!

The girl below [Holly Michaels] is awesome!!! Crazy, but awesome. But, just FYI: no matter if you’re male, female, trans, gay or straight – you do that with a double dong just once in front of any non-homophobic man… and at some point he’s gonna ask you if he can put his dick in your mouth. Not that I’d know anything about this personally. I’ve never been wasted at a party and been talked into showing off my “gift.” Nope, that has neeeeever happened. :/

Yup, my man is the envy of his peer group. Cuz he gots himself a classy broad!





It’s really hard to recommend any kind of unprotected sex. I squirm just a little thinking that I may be influencing anyone to be unsafe. I have been extremely lucky despite an incredibly reckless and self destructive period in my life. But I have close friends who weren’t as lucky. So just try to be smart. Insist that your partner get tested, and pray they are the faithful kind. Let’s face it, man gravy doesn’t taste good enough to jeopardize your health for it. Keep safe, please.

Also I’m looking to find a more realistic dong in terms of texture and realism… something I can suction cup to the headboard maybe, if anyone has any suggestions, please enlighten me.



  1. You astound me my dear, reader of my mind, a brilliant, beautiful woman, good god young lady!… you make horny…

  2. Toys made from German medical grade silicone are supposed to be pretty good. No odor, not porous, natural feel. They are the most expensive, and hygienic. I wouldn’t know myself, as I like a nice warm mouth and ass. But how about dipping them in melted caramel and see how that works when they cool down. Or make a mold out of one and use it to cast some made from soft candy or real unflavored gelatin combined with a palatable liquor&put in freezer.. Go heavy on the gelatin in mix. Or get one of those mechanical impalers and put the real thing in your mouth. Speaking of safe sex someone should invent a condom for butts made out of something thin and durable. Have a rim that sticks to skin. Then let the football team have at ya. You get fucked silly and your protected even if they are not ( from each other anyway ). : )

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